The last day
by Aannaa
Summary: What would you do on your last day? Spoilers up to Dead Man Walking...Owen/Tosh
1. Chapter 1

_First Torchwood fic, I don not own anything, it is all BBC..._

_Spoilers: up to Dead Man Walking, so beware...I am still shocked by the last 2 episodes of Torchwood, so I felt the need to write but honestly don´t know for sure where I am trying to go...still, R&R usually get to get inspiration and guidance. English in not my first language, so sorry about that...hope it is not to annoying...dialogues are marked with: "-", someone mentioned in other fic that was confusing so I thought it was better to explain it...hope you like it._

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How can you go on living like nothing much had happened? How can you do that when he has died? He had always been her secret love, not so secret anymore, but still. Seeing him die in front of Pharm had been one of the worst moments of her life. She had cried in the SUV all the way back to Torchwood. The rest were silent, shocked, confused and in pain but she had cried, silently of course, all the time. His body lying on the back of the SUV, like a broken doll.

That is what he said last week, that he was broken, and she could see his suffering. She had loved him since the very beginning, notwithstanding the times he was a bastard and the times he ignored her or the various times he was shagging someone else. He was a brilliant man and a heroe, and he shouldn´t be dead.

Tosh could not help to feel happy that he was still around, although she knew that she was being selfish, because he was not happy, he was suffering all the time, confused and, well, dead.

Being brought back to life sounds good but turns out it isn´t such a party.

She knocked on the door again, he heart beating like mad. What if the energy had finally dissipated? What if he had found a way to stop being here? What...?

- What the hell do you want now, Tosh? –His voice shook her from her pessimistic thoughts.

- Mmm...Just checking to see how you were doing, Owen –He voice low and shy. He was just wearing a pair of boxer shorts and she had no idea where to look, so she concentrate on the door. Owen found it mildly annoying.

- Wait, I´ll go get my pants before you start having a real nice conversation with the door.

Tosh entered into the flat. It had never been too clean, but the main areas usually were decent, ready in case he decided to bring some female company in. But now it was a complete mess, and a disgusting odor came from the kitchen area. She imagined it was rotten food. He couldn´t eat anymore so food was not an interesting thing for him, but letting it rot in his flat was a different thing, a bad sign, something she didn´t like.

-Owen! –She called opening the fridge and then closing it fast- Why don´t you throw all this stuff away? I can help you if you want...

- Leave it there –His voice angry, a bit ashamed but mostly angry- I can take of myself, mommy.

-Owen –She tried to walk near him but he moved- I am just trying to help.

- Why? – Owen was in for the kill- The others call once in a while but they do not pester me everyday with calls and visits. Why are you doing this, Tosh? And don´t give me that you love me again, that´s bollocks, Tosh. I think you are here because you have nowhere else to go.

Tosh waited till he finished talking, she looked hurt but he had been more cruel before and she had made up her mind.

- Owen, I am here because I am worried, because I care for you –She explained, her voice strong and defiant- I do love you, but that is not the only reason I come here so often. And do not start with the grief and such things, Owen, I do love you and I don´t care if you are dead, you are still my friend and you need help.

- But I do care, Tosh –He yelled back- And let me tell you this, a good advice from the dearly departed, stop falling for impossible guys. First the alien woman, then the frozen guy...Tosh, I am dead, I am not the right guy to take to your parent´s dinner party.

- I am not thinking of that. Right now, I am thinking of cleaning this kitchen- She openeed the fridge again- Because I plan to come often and the smell is terrible.

Owen had to smile at her. It was the first time she completely ignored him in order to do what she wanted and it was kind of sexy to see her like that, so full of power. Unfortunately it was too late, he was dead, there was no coming back from that.

- Tosh, leave me alone –He said- I can´t go on like this. I cannot eat, sleep, drink, shag, I can´t work at Torchwood as I am a threat to you guys and those are the things I love, and if I can´t have them then, why should I stay here...I want to go.

- You don´t mean that –Tosh looked up, this time her eyes showed a great amount of fear and hurt- You are here for a reason, I am sure, you just have to find it. Owen, I know things are tough now but...

- Tough? – He yelled- Tough? Have you listened to what I have just said? I am dead, Tosh!, I should not be here, this was not meant to be. I should have died there and then, a heroe, dying in a pool of blood with my friends around me. That is what I wanted, a good death. Look at me, look at me! I am nothing but a corpse walking around. I can´t do the things I love, I cannot be with you or anyone, Tosh. Stop loving me, it is no use.

- Love doesn´t stop because things are complicated –She replied- You should know that.

-I have no blood circulation, Tosh- He closed his eyes- I am here but I can´t be with you, stop hoping for something to happen.

- I have never hoped...well, you never noticed me-She confessed- There was the date thing but...

- I was shot before that –He completed the sentence- We should have done it right there, the minute we agreed to go on a date, we should have done it.

- Do what? Go on a date? –she didn´t understand- We were in a mission, with Martha.

- Yes, I know, but not the date, you see, the sex –He smirked. She blushed, he enjoyed it. Blushing one more thing he couldn´t do, not that he did that often in the past. Took a whole lot to make him blush.

-Owen...

- It is too late for that –Owen said looking at the floor- Too late for most things, ...I always wondered what was to be with you in bed.

- I know –Tosh replied way too fast

- You do? The pendant!-Owen was shocked, what else had he heard thinking of her. He couldn´t remember if that day he had his usual sexual fantasy with her and the leather boots...or the one with the honey...

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She woke up late and tired, she had not been sleeping well for some weeks, all the stress of being promoted, the life-changing decisions she had been forced to make in the last few days. She had been offered the job she wanted but in Hong Kong, she knew her husband´s place was in Cardiff, with his mates, his annoying mother and his boring job as a mailman. Gary was a normal bloke, and he wanted a normal life. But she was so much more and had already decided to leave him. That night they have heard a terrible bang in the garden. No wonder, that place was old, unkept and probable full of vermin. She hated it, never went in there, but he was always promising he will fix it.

- An animal or something had landed in our garden –She had said, not moving from the bed. She was so tired.

- I´ll go and check.

It took him a lifetime to come back, more than 2 hours, she had already fallen asleep when he came, all weird and full of mud. He was in a strange mood, he wanted to have sex, have children, he mumbled he couldn´t wait any longer, that he didn´t have that long and that kids were the thing they were needing. She had fought him off and left him locked in the bathroom crying her name. After a while she had fallen asleep again.

She went to the bathroom and saw that he had escaped through the window and closed her eyes sad. Things were not going the way she planned. Definitely not.

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_Hope it is not too bad...R&R please..._


	2. Chapter 2

_Ok, second chapter, let´s see how it goes...reviews would be nice...(no pressure)_

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-You know, I always told you that girl was no good- Mrs Silver told him again and again while she prepared her only son something to eat. he was pale, shivering and still wearing his pijama, all covered in mud.

- Mom, I have told you dozens of times, she is not all bad. You just don´t know her as well as I do –He ate some toast and looked at her.

- She is gonna leave you, mark my words, she will, sooner or later –The woman continued- She thinks she is too good for you.

- And maybe she is right –He sighed.

There came some more shouting from the flat next door. Mrs- Silver was annoyed by it.

- That man is always so rude, making noises all day long, but lately he and his girlfriend are always shouting. That poor girl, she has such a lovely face. You can tell by her eyes how much she loves him and he does like her too, but they cannot communicate. Its sad but also very loud...I wish they would stop shouting for a change.

- I thought your neighbour was a bastard –Gary left the toast in the plate- You said he was always seeing a different girl each night.

- Not of late –She finished cooking the bacon- Lately it is just her. A lovely Asian girl. She had these big eyes and is always sad. Breaks my heart. He should change his ways, marry her and have some lovely kids together.

- You think she wants kids? –The question was weird, but Mrs. Silver knew her son was kind of confused so she didn´t mind answering.

- Guess so, she looks like a lovely lady, but have never spoken to her-She placed the bacon in front of her son- Of course I can hear her shouting, this morning she has shouted "I love you". He is a bastard if he doesn´t marry her.

Gary waited till his mother left the kitchen, he listened and when he realised the shouting match was over he looked for something clean to wear.

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Owen saw Tosh closing the door and felt an urge to apologise, but he had no real experience doing that. He was grateful, because she was the only one that truly seemed to care, that was always there, that suffered seeing that he was miserable. He had always considered her a friend, he had nothing but respect for her brilliant mind. He knew he was intelligent since he was a child and had always admired intelligence, although he had never been keen in admitting there were smarter people out there. With Tosh it was kind of obvious she was the brains of the team. But she was so much more, a good person, an excellent and loyal friend. She was a lovely girl, and he had treasured their friendship, but then it all got very much complicated with Gwen and the secret affair, and Tosh´s eyes made him feel guilty and he hated guilt. So he avoided her as much a possible. Then came Diane, and life got out of hand. His feelings were so strong he was scared to death to feel like that again.

When Jack went missing the team was forced to work together to do the job, to survive without him. That was when everything changed. Tosh was no longer the shy little sister that had always been by his side, now, she was a fighter, like the rest of them and he admired her even more for that. The whole affair with Gwen was over, he had closed that and it was never to be opened again. Rhys and Jack were enough troubles for her, he didn´t want to play that game anymore. Instead he started to realise that he was always by her side, next to Tosh, protecting her, talking to her, like back in the old times. He had been mad when Tommy was defrosted, he had hated every single second of the night Tommy and Tosh had spent together. He knew what was going on from the minute she appeared wearing a dress on the hub. Since when she wore dresses and necklages to work? Since when she made an effort to look lovely for another man?

He had gone to his favourite pub, drank and shag till morning but his mind was in her tiny flat, where Tommy was probably getting what he didn´t deserve.

He had wanted to talk to her after that. He had tried but things had not worked out as he planned. First, they lost two days, no idea why or what happened. Apparently he did something he felt he needed to apologise for, which was no surprise, but flowers?? He had never used flowers, not ever.

Then he had agreed to that date with her. That was a good memory. Her face, all flustered, and happy. She was so nervous but she had admitted she wanted a date with him. He had felt so...nervous too, which was weird, he was a grown-up man but had felt like he was a teenager again. But then he had died.

Owen opened the fridge and started cleaning the rotten stuff. She was right, that was disguting.

A knock on the door saved him from continuing with that task.

- Yes? Do I know you? –Owen opened the door and saw Gary Silver.

- You are...You are in love?- Gary asked.

- Sorry mate, I don´t fancy you, besides I am not in the mood –Owen tried to closed the door but Gary tried to enter and started smelling around.

- Look, mate, I am having a hell of a day, so go pester someone else and I know it stinks here, so, get the fuck out of my...What?

- You are Torchwood –Gary eye´s lightened up.

- How can you know that?-Owen looked at him curious and ready to attack if necessary.

- Please just listen –He pleaded.

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	3. Chapter 3

_Well, so far 1 review,...Thanks for R&R..._

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Half an hour later Owen was offering him a beer.

- Enjoy, I cannot drink anymore –Owen sat in front of him.

- Being dead must be worse that this- Gary said shaking his head.

- So, let me get the facts straight- You are an alien inside the body of this man but just for a day, then you will leave him but you won´t harm him...Why are you here?

- I was curious –Gary said- So I tried to contact humans before, but was kind of complicated, I don´t look like you. I invented this device so I can be here, in one of you for a day and that is it. I can look, feel, touch, eat, I am alive but I am not hurting the person, Gary is here too, I have his memories and feelings, I know he loves his mom and hates peanuts.

- And why are you knocking on doors? and, How do you know about Torchwood?- Owen asked.

-I have studied you, and I have been in Scotland before, two years ago, and I met that nasty man...

- Yes, I know-Owen nodded- So this is not your first time.

- No, but it is the last –He continued- I can´t keep doing this, it hurts too much when I return, I could die. But I wanted to feel what it was like to be human. We are so different.

- Well, good luck with that –Owen was wondering when he should call Jack to tell him about it. Of course he was no longer Torchwood but he wanted to talk to him.

- You see, my problem is that I have not been able to chose so far –Gary continued- I just get one day and the first time I was an old lady with a house full of cats near the Royal Mile.

- Nice experience –Owen smirked.

- Gary is not much better, he is a sad man, works all day long and his wife is gonna leave him –Gary looked sad- She doesn´t desire him anymore.

- Marriage tends to do that to people – Owen agreed- But Gary seems like a nice bloke, take him out, maybe you´ll get lucky. He will certainly thank you.

- I want to feel the passion, that is something we don´t have –Gary sighted- I envy you.

- Not me, mate –Owen´s face was suddenly grim- Not anymore. I am dead, I can´t have passion.

- But, maybe...-Gary considered an idea for a while.

- What?- Owen asked

- I have heard you shouting with that girl –Gary started- Lots of frustration, that is a good element to achieve passion.

- Listen, and listen carefully, you are not going to try anything with her, I don´t care how desesperate you are. You are not going anywhere near her-Owen was quite serious.

- No, no –Gary replied- She loves you, she won´t want to have anything with Gary.

- I am really not following you –Owen tilted his head.

- I can see you two are frustrated, you want to...you know, but you can´t, I mean, physically –Gary explained, Owen looked away- I can but I have no prospects...I can help you and you can help me.

- I am not sure we should keep on talking, this is pointless, you are losing time, go to a pub and good luck- Owen walked towards the door.

- I can get inside of you, you will still be in control but you won´t be dead –Gary offered- I will give life to you body, only for what remains of the day. You will be able to drink, eat, and have a chance with her. By morning I´ll be gone.

- Gone. Completely gone? –Owen stopped in front of the door- Why should I trust you?

- You have nothing to lose –Gary replied.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks for the lovely reviews, I know it´s been a while since I updated this one, but I needed some inspiration as the series has gone in a different direction to the one I was hoping for, still loved Fragments and I wait for the finale. This fic will go continue on its path, so no real spoilers from now on...I guess. Hope you like it._

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-I must be crazy - Owen closed his eyes and tried to think- This must be what losing your mind feels like.

-I promise you I won´t hurt you - Gary insisted.

-It is not me I am worried about. What about her? - Owen asked- Look, mate, I am dead already, I don´t care if you turn me into a talking puppet or a stuffed turkey, I have nothing to lose, but she...

-Then you do have something to lose, you have her - Gary smiled- I am telling you the truth, come on, I won´t be here much longer, my time is running out. Take this chance.

-What will happen to Gary? - Owen asked, trying to think it all over again. This was madness. And yet, it sounded too good to be true.

-He will be dizzy for a couple of minutes, leave him outside, in the hall, he will find his way to his mother´s flat and he won´t remember a thing. He is a weak mind. You, on the other hand, will remain in control all the time. I will be lurking, but not talking, just enjoying the ride -Gary explained.

-Ok, let´s do it - Owen nodded nervously. This was definitely a bad idea.

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Tosh was trying to focus on the computer´s screen but her mind kept on travelling to Owen´s flat. What was he doing up there all alone? He hated television, and could not eat or sleep, or sleep with anyone. What was he doing then? She was angry with Jack for sending Owen home. He needed them, he needed Torchwood more than anyone else in Cardiff at that time. He was a dead man walking, he was just the kind of thing they work with, but Jack had simply sent him away. Tosh had always feel gratitude towards Jack for the times he had saved her in the past, but lately, she almost hated him for the way he was treating Owen. After all, it was all his fault that Owen was like that in the first place.

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-Oh, God! -Was all Owen managed to say when he felt the need the breath and his lungs started to ache. It was a terribly wonderful feeling. His heart started to protest, the poor old thing had already forgotten what a heart beat was and was having a hard time readjusting to the task of pumping blood through his body. It was painful and scary and he felt the need to cry. He clutched his head between his hands and waited till everything was working again. Then he had to grab his stomach, he was so hungry it was going berserk. He needed a good steak or even better, some really nice Jubilee pizza with lots of meat and cheese and tomato. Owen grabbed his keys and ran out of the flat. On his way out he saw Gary, with a weird expression on his face, wandering around his mother´s door.

-Are you ok, mate? -Owen asked concerned- Need a hand or anything?

-No, I am just tired, very tired - Gary replied, and it was obvious he had no idea why he was there and who was Owen.

Owen ordered a couple of pizzas, take-away and while he waited he called her mobile.

-Tosh?-He asked, he had no idea what he was going to tell her, it was all so strange and wonderful. He was sweating after running on the street, his eyes hurt with the terrible cheap lights of the pizza parlour and he was feeling every single part of his body, aching, full of life.

-Yes, Owen, is that you? -Tosh asked, her voice sounded worried- Are you ok? Has anything happened? Do you need my help?

-I am fine Tosh, really, I am ok -He answered, just by hearing her voice he could feel how his pulse was accelerating- But I do need you, can you join me outside, I am at Jubilee pizza but we can meet at the dock, you know the spot.

-Yes, I do. Owen, you are scaring me. Is everything ok? Should I call Jack -She asked, there was something in Owen´s voice that was unsettling, too much joy maybe.

-Tosh, trust me, I am more than fine. Do not tell Jack anything about this. He got rid of me, besides, this is not a Torchwood case, it is our lives, Tosh, yours and mine and that has nothing to do with Jack bloody Harkness for once -Owen replied angry- Are you going to come and meet me?

-Of course, Owen -Tosh looked for her handbag and her coat. Ianto and Jack were nowhere to be seen, probably busy or getting to that and Gwen was on the phone, talking with some of the girls about the hen night. As Tosh had not been invited, Gwen had not bothered to tell her much about that, which was a relief. Gwen was so focused on the call that didn´t see Tosh leaving the hub in a hurry.


	5. Chapter 5

_Thanks for the lovely review, it helps me to get inspired...so more reviews, more updates...you know how this works,...thanks for reading this far )_

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- Owen? Owen? Where are you? -Tosh ran through the docks, worried sick. In the end she saw him, standing against the railings, just like that time when she had felt miserable after Tommy´s sacrifice. He was wearing the same black leather jacket and was looking down at the sea. Lost in his own thoughts. Tosh feared he might have another bad day, that he was thinking once again about ending it all. So she ran towards him, with her heart trembling for him.

-Hey, Tosh! What took you so long? Was Jack spying on your every move? -Owen smiled at her, he had never felt so happy in his whole life and death. Her cheeks were slightly blushed due to the exercise and her eyes were shining with determination. She looked amazing and his heart started to race by the mere thought of the possibilities that lie ahead.

-Owen? Are you ok? Is anything broken? Are you...- she never managed to finish that question as he kissed her, with no prior warning. She stood there, not moving, while his arms embrace her and his lips kissed her.

-What? I thought you loved me? -Owen stopped when he realised she was not responding, she was not kissing him back, she was just there, speechless, looking at him as if he was a complete stranger- Tosh, talk to me, come on.

- What are you doing Owen? Is this a new sort of game for you? -She answered, anger clear in her voice. She turned around and started to walk back towards the hub.- I would have never believe that you would...

-Tosh! -He grabbed her arm and tried to stop her- Tosh, listen to me.

-No! How dare you? We are friends, or so I thought. How dare you make fun of me and my feelings? You know damn well that I am in love with you, just as I know that you don´t love me and that even if you did it would not matter now. You are dead, Owen, but this...this is sick -Tosh was so angry that tears were starting to form in her eyes.- You have already played that trick with me, remember? In the hospital, you kissed me to get rid of me...no more games, Owen, I am tired of this.

-Tosh, listen to me! -Owen grabbed her other arm- Stop shouting and, for crying out loud, Tosh, don´t cry!

Tosh tried to control her emotions but refuse to look him in the eye.

-Tosh, I have been a git for a long while, specially with everything related to you. Believe it or not, I have always admire your skills, your professional approach, your brain -He explained, it was so hard to open up after all those years of locking it all inside.

-Thanks, that sure helps -Tosh was being sarcastic. Being called an intelligent woman was just as bad as hearing the classic: "I like you but not in that way, you are like a sister to me". She struggled to free her arms.

-No, Tosh, you are getting this all wrong, or maybe it is me who is saying it all wrong -Owen was desperate, this was not going as planned. She should be in his arms by now instead of trying to kill him with her eyes- I am a bit rusty in all this romantic stuff, ok? That doesn´t mean that I don´t care for you, maybe love is too strong a word to use here, ok? I am sure I am saying it all wrong again, look, we have never even had a date, but I do like you.

-I have never been on a date with you and I love you -Tosh replied.

-I have escaped love for four years, running away from it, you have to understand I might have some trouble accepting the fact that I am willing to risk it all to spend a night with you -Owen said and tried to kiss her again but she was backing away and he couldn´t reach her lips.- Tosh, there is no time to lose. Trust me, I want to be with you, just you, and I have found a way, but it won´t last, so we can lose time like this.

Tosh opened her eyes. What was he talking about? He released her and Tosh realised that his hands were not cold, in fact, she remembered feeling the warmth of his breath when he had tried to kiss her a second time. Was that even possible? She blinked astonished.

-You are...? -She asked. Owen moved closer, and Tosh touched his face, so warm. His breath was tickling her wrist. She felt dizzy and he embraced her to support her as well to enjoy the feeling of having her in his arms.


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